Yes

It seems like I fit into this world in a tentative sort of way. 

Like, maybe, I have lost my voice. 

I wasn't always like this. My kids were telling of their adventures at Christmas, and I listened to them laughing, amazed at their audacity. Dylan reminded me that I had my own streak of audacity, once upon a time. I knew right away that it was true. 

When happened? Why did it happen? I've been thinking a lot about this since then. 

A couple of weeks later, Andrew asked to speak with me after the service. He stood in front of me, and he said, "We were all talking the other day, and your name came up, and we think that we would like you to join us. You would be a good fit." And he stood there with his gentle Andrew face, waiting for my answer. 

Immediately, the reasons why I shouldn't, why I couldn't, why he was wrong, why I didn't fit at all, came pushing to the front of my mind. 

I struggled for a moment, but I remembered a time when I used to be audacious, and there arose in me such a hunger...

...that this time, I said yes. 

And all those thoughts and excuses that had pushed to the front of my mind stood transfixed at the sound of my voice.